{"title":"Ministry Standard Issue","description":"\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"12,1,1\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,1,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,1,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003ePolitely furious. Bureaucratically sound.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,0\"\u003eThis is \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0\" data-index-in-node=\"8\"\u003eMinistry Standard Issue\u003c\/b\u003e, the official utilitarian division of \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,0\" data-index-in-node=\"70\"\u003eSkewed \u0026amp; Snappy\u003c\/b\u003e. This department specializes in the mandatory requirements for survival in a standard British office environment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"13,1\"\u003eFeaturing our signature \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"13,1\" data-index-in-node=\"24\"\u003eOxblood Red on Cream\u003c\/b\u003e palette, this collection is officially sanctioned by the Comptroller (Humphrey). Ensure your requisitions are in order before browsing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"ceramic-mug-politely-furious-since-forever-mug-sarcastic-british-humor-coffee-cup-11oz-15oz","title":"[MSI] Ceramic Mug — 'Politely Furious Since Forever' Mug — Sarcastic British Humor Coffee Cup (11oz, 15oz)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Ethos\u003c\/strong\u003e By Order of the Institution. This official vessel is issued to those who have maintained a state of high-fidelity indignation for an indeterminate period. It is a utilitarian artifact designed for the consumption of Earl Grey during moments of heavy domestic bureaucracy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Directive\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Look:\u003c\/strong\u003e A 1940s administrative aesthetic, finished in Oxblood Red on an aged-paper cream background.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Voice:\u003c\/strong\u003e Authoritative Gill Sans typography featuring the \"Politely Furious Since Forever\" mantra.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Construction:\u003c\/strong\u003e Durable ceramic. Lead and BPA-free. Microwave and dishwasher safe (unlike many modern arguments).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":56326116016454,"sku":"18969442898647386252","price":18.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":56326116049222,"sku":"13321558883809445874","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0996\/0239\/9558\/files\/5807604252656775966_2048.jpg?v=1775577145"},{"product_id":"funny-office-meeting-mug-sarcastic-this-meeting-could-have-been-a-letter-retro-quote-coffee-mug-this-meeting-could-have-been-an-email-humphrey-donkey-cup-11oz-15oz","title":"[MSI] Funny Office Meeting Mug — Sarcastic \"This Meeting Could Have Been A Letter\" Retro Quote Coffee Mug (\"This Meeting Could Have Been An Email\") Humphrey Donkey Cup (11oz\/15oz)","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"By Order of the Institution: A silent memorandum for the redundant.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDispatched by the \u003cstrong\u003eMinistry of Efficient Communication\u003c\/strong\u003e, this utilitarian vessel is issued to those trapped in a cycle of unnecessary visual synchronization. It features the stoic gaze of Humphrey, our Resident Comptroller of Brevity, and serves as a formal declaration to the room: This meeting should have been a letter.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFinished in our signature \u003cstrong\u003eOxblood Red\u003c\/strong\u003e on a bureaucratic cream background, it is the only approved container for Earl Grey while witnessing the slow death of a productive Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e Naturalistic woodcut engraving and clinical 1940s-style typography.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Build:\u003c\/strong\u003e High-quality white ceramic with a premium \"Placard\" print wrap.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Capacity:\u003c\/strong\u003e Available in 11oz (Standard Issue) and 15oz (Bureaucratic Excess).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eThe Maintenance:\u003c\/strong\u003e Dishwasher and microwave safe. (Designed to outlast the longest agenda).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Clean in dishwasher or wash by hand with warm water and dish soap\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"11oz","offer_id":56332458295622,"sku":"90049350024407383642","price":18.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"15oz","offer_id":56332458328390,"sku":"31106026269475640634","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0996\/0239\/9558\/files\/10353606643320617429_2048.jpg?v=1775638536"},{"product_id":"msi-politely-furious-cyril-die-cut-vinyl-sticker","title":"[MSI] \"Politely Furious\" Cyril - Die-Cut Vinyl Sticker","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDirect from the Ministry Standard Issue [MSI] Department.\u003c\/strong\u003e Cyril the Penguin may be \"politely furious,\" but he remains impeccably bureaucratically sound. Whether he’s delivering a cracked cup of tea or a sternly worded administrative reprimand, his presence provides the exact level of disgruntled elegance your personal effects require.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eArchival Specifications:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHigh-Fidelity Artifact:\u003c\/strong\u003e Printed at 300 DPI with the finest woodcut-style precision.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eBureaucratic Durability:\u003c\/strong\u003e Premium, water-resistant vinyl—perfect for laptops, water bottles, or filing cabinets.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eGlobal Procurement:\u003c\/strong\u003e Shipped with administrative speed to the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, NZ, and Europe.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDepartmental Origin:\u003c\/strong\u003e Ministry Standard Issue (Oxblood \u0026amp; Cream Division).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e\"Dignity is a choice. Usually a loud, slightly inconvenienced one.\"\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Generic brand, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Blank product sourced from Japan (Printify Choice)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Use a soft, clean and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the sticker outwards.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":56357164024134,"sku":"82990411444932765765","price":6.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0996\/0239\/9558\/files\/17409058177824907342_1200.jpg?v=1775931456"},{"product_id":"penguin-butler-sticker-dapper-penguin-serving-tea-kiss-cut-vinyl-decal","title":"Penguin Butler Sticker — Dapper Penguin Serving Tea Kiss-Cut Vinyl Decal","description":"A charming kiss-cut vinyl sticker featuring a dignified penguin in a burgundy suit and red bow tie, holding a silver tray with a teacup. The glossy finish and vibrant eco-solvent inks make the colors pop and the character’s attitude come to life. Lightweight and smooth to apply, this sticker adds a dash of whimsical sophistication to laptops, journals, water-resistant cases, and other flat surfaces. Choose white or transparent backing and from four sizes to fit your space. Though not waterproof, its durable vinyl and strong permanent adhesive keep it looking sharp on indoor decor and personal items.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- Glossy, scratch-resistant paper finish for clear, shiny detail\u003cbr\u003e- Durable 100% vinyl with strong permanent acrylic adhesive for long-lasting indoor use\u003cbr\u003e- Printed with eco-solvent inks for bright, vibrant colors\u003cbr\u003e- Available in white or transparent backing and four size options\u003cbr\u003e- Quick, bubble-free application (not waterproof)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Use a soft, clean and dry cloth to gently brush any dust or dirt off from the center of the sticker outwards.\u003cbr\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"3\" × 3\" \/ White","offer_id":56357167268166,"sku":"47715234076453941708","price":4.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0996\/0239\/9558\/files\/3955353557027770102_1200.jpg?v=1775931738"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0996\/0239\/9558\/collections\/Ministry_Standard_Issue_img.png?v=1775723076","url":"https:\/\/skewedandsnappy.com\/collections\/ministry-standard-issue.oembed","provider":"Skewed \u0026 Snappy","version":"1.0","type":"link"}