{"product_id":"s404-status-life-not-found-retro-monitor-shirt-funny-glitch-art-tech-tee","title":"[S404] STATUS: LIFE NOT FOUND - Retro Monitor Shirt - Funny Glitch Art Tech Tee","description":"\n        \u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSYSTEM 404: DIAGNOSTIC FAILURE.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe Ministry’s central processing unit has encountered an unrecoverable error. \u003cstrong\u003eSTATUS: PROCESSING... LIFE NOT FOUND\u003c\/strong\u003e is the official garment for those navigating the digital void with bureaucratic indifference. Featuring a cracked vintage CRT monitor frozen in a permanent loading state, it is the perfect artifact for the modern citizen whose internal systems have long since timed out.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Artifact Specifics:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eVisuals:\u003c\/strong\u003e Minimalist white line art with high-contrast \"glitch\" artifacts.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eChannel:\u003c\/strong\u003e System 404 (Minimalist \/ High-Tech Dread).\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eChassis:\u003c\/strong\u003e Printed on the premium \u003cstrong\u003eBella+Canvas 3001\u003c\/strong\u003e—a garment designed to outlast your next system crash.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eHue:\u003c\/strong\u003e Optimized for \u003cstrong\u003eBlack\u003c\/strong\u003e and \u003cstrong\u003eDark Grey Heather\u003c\/strong\u003e.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMinistry Production Standards:\u003c\/strong\u003e Each requisition is custom-procured and locally routed through our global hubs. This ensures bureaucratic efficiency and reduces the environmental footprint of your existence.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"Dignity is a choice. Usually a loud, slightly inconvenienced one.\"\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003eNotice: New citizens are eligible for a 5% administrative credit. Use code \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\u003cem\u003ePROCURE5\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cem\u003e at checkout.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Bella+Canvas 3001, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Iron, steam or dry: medium heat, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":56390168740166,"sku":"21501489728388495862","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ S","offer_id":56390168772934,"sku":"18628728687938981907","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black Blend \/ S","offer_id":56390168805702,"sku":"10523900440325141248","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ S","offer_id":56390168838470,"sku":"25177796837488630784","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":56390168871238,"sku":"31579139319052955551","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ M","offer_id":56390168904006,"sku":"23953052481114643592","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black Blend \/ M","offer_id":56390168936774,"sku":"24659372381353170473","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ M","offer_id":56390168969542,"sku":"99218447864413634561","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":56390169002310,"sku":"89015304174143679877","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ L","offer_id":56390169035078,"sku":"25780763600544627459","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black Blend \/ L","offer_id":56390169067846,"sku":"21832610787781364719","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ L","offer_id":56390169100614,"sku":"26724066390285366782","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":56390169133382,"sku":"21764643090856651589","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ XL","offer_id":56390169166150,"sku":"21563030683279937266","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black Blend \/ XL","offer_id":56390169198918,"sku":"81483727703908652393","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ XL","offer_id":56390169231686,"sku":"28949501732171461233","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":56390169264454,"sku":"86912208799725102607","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":56390169297222,"sku":"29187105291573309954","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black Blend \/ 2XL","offer_id":56390169329990,"sku":"33305092002803242805","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 2XL","offer_id":56390169362758,"sku":"14809435199909186233","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":56390169395526,"sku":"24197754174678670417","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Dark Grey Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":56390169428294,"sku":"20748962559956080319","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Solid Black Blend \/ 3XL","offer_id":56390169461062,"sku":"30047730771002481548","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Heather \/ 3XL","offer_id":56390169493830,"sku":"31132407788193595610","price":22.95,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0996\/0239\/9558\/files\/7131199175356034764_2048.jpg?v=1776345500","url":"https:\/\/skewedandsnappy.com\/products\/s404-status-life-not-found-retro-monitor-shirt-funny-glitch-art-tech-tee","provider":"Skewed \u0026 Snappy","version":"1.0","type":"link"}